What do you do when those who are closest to you, constantly bombarded you with negativity. Do you think you fall into the trap of listening and accepting that the negative conversations you hear have any affect on the outcomes that are currently showing up in your life.
Say…you are excited about an idea you have had that ultimately would make you feel good about who your are, or your financial situation or maybe even a relationship and you put some effort into this new idea that has you excite and it even starts to show some positive signs of maybe this idea will pay off for you.
Then you share it with those close to you and they are less than enthusiastic about what you are trying to achieve and tell you everything that will go wrong or maybe even everything in the past you have done wrong.
And every moment they get to put down your excitement – they do.
A small snide remark here, bringing up past mistakes there – what do you do?
Do you give in (mentally) and agree that yes it is all my fault and why bother, this person who loves me so much and cares for me must surely be right. That I can’t possibly make this idea work, so just give up.
And then say…months later you get another exciting idea and you run with it and you have some promising signs of it coming to fruition and again you share it with those close to you, and again they tell you that you couldn’t possibly achieve what you are aiming for, and again tell you everything that will go wrong, and everything wrong you have done in your life.
And again – do you give in (mentally) and agree that yes it is all my fault, why bother, they must be right, and again you give up the notion that you could succeed at anything other that what those closest to you want you to achieve.
Does this story sound familiar in any way shape of form. If it is, let me tell you, you are definitely not alone. We all at sometime or another in our life will heed to the negativity of others.
And here is the start of YOUR CHANGE.
Now you know that you have allowed someone else, no matter how significant they are in your life, to manipulate you, to sway your opinion, to believe that there is no possible way you could ever succeed at anything. NOW YOU KNOW!
And with that knowing you are able to make changes or continue to do what you are currently doing.
So the question is do I want to change or don’t I?
If you do it is quite possible that you may find it easier in your journey to change to just blame the other person for why you have never achieved the level of success that you so much desire – BUT….
(Now you are probably not going to like the next part, but when you can finally accept the next part of the message you will find yourself FREE from the comments made by others)
….you are the one who made the decision to listen to someone else’s opinion, you are the one, who over and over again seeks the approval (for what ever purpose) of someone else. You, no one else, just you.
We are all conditioned, to some degree to seek the approval of those that mean the most in our lives, that is just human nature. BUT we also have to right to CHOOSE, whether the opinions of others will affect our lives positively or negatively.
Live your life, for yourself – not to please someone else, because ultimately you will fail to live up to their expectations. Live your life, for yourself – not to please someone else.
Gillian Tarawhiti
